Hometown mom initiates hard talk on abstinence
Mary Pat Payne exemplifies the power of one person to make change
From, The Kentucky Citizen Digest, January/February, 2001.

A lot of parents have a very difficult time handling their God-given duty of telling their children about the dangers of sexual activity.  Whether the concern is entering into a new, deeper realm of conversation or it is the difficulty of talking about such an intimate and personal topic, parents hesitate.  Regardless, they need to be encouraged to break through their fears and step out of their confort zone to begin an open, lifelong conversation about STDs and the benefits of waiting until marriage.

For one parent, talk about sex comes easily.  Why?  Because to Mary Pat Payne, her children are just too important  to let fear and embarassment be the barrier to their emotional and physical health.

In fact, Mary Pat cares so passionately about the topic of abstinence, she initiated a series of community forums to begin the ongoing process of teaching children to wait until marriage.

New to the Ft Knox area, having recently moved from Bowling Green, the Payne family have begun to  aclimate themselves to a new school system, a system that appears to leave parents in the dark about what their children are being taught regarding sex in school.  Unsettled with the limited information Mary Pat recieved, she decided to bring the topic into the light, rather than to allow other people to determine what information is given to children on such a delicate matter.  So, Payne initiated a series of community forums to address abstinence and the importance of that message being the true answer to today’s sexually transmitted diseases.

The first of the series took place on September 7, highlighting Dr. David Hagar, a distinguished obstetrician and gynocologist of the Physician’s Council for the Medical Institute of Sexual Health.

Dr. Hagar began the afternoon by addressing  over 300 basic training men.  Dr. Hagar gave a detailed description of some of the 15 million yearly cases of STDs and admonished that a condom is effective for preventing only a couple of these diseases.  Following his talk, soldiers expressed concern that the military does not screen for any STD’s other than HIV.  This resulted from because Dr. Hagar’s admonishment that any person who has been sexually active can be a carrier for several diseases with no symptoms and will then, likely pass the on the disease.

In the evening, Dr. Hagar spoke to community parents in the Powers Performing Arts Center about the importance of an abstinence message.  Hagar explained how teens are risk-takers.  He cited numerous activities untaken by teens which have dangerous results and showed how one risk often leads to another, thus leaving teenagers vulnerable to the pressures of sex.

He encouraged parents to remain in constant conversation with their children, and to be comfortable telling your children that you do not approve of pre-marital sexual activity.  He showed studies that illustrated that a parent’s opinion about pre-marital sex is the number one shaper ofa child’s sexual choices.

September 7th’s forum was the first of 3 events scheduled to heighten discussion.  The second is a 5 week program on nothing less than abstinence til marriage for Fort Knox’ high school students.  Consistent with her belief in full disclosure to parents, Mary Pat will conduct a parent information session on October 23 at 7pm in the Powers Performing Arts Center, where she will conduct a powerpoint presentation explaining the trends of the last 30 years in the area of sexual activity and citing current statistics.  During this meeting, parents will be  given an outline of the  program and will have the program’s activities demonstrated.  Ideally, this guide will also serve as conversation starters in families.

The final piece to the abstinence initiative is a presentation in the spring by Lakita Garth, 1995 Miss Black America runner-up who will express her strong belief in abstinence as a role model to the children.  She will address the middle school, the high school and soldiers.
 
 

Key Family Foundation Contacts: Kent Ostrander, Executive Director Martin Cothran, Senior Associate Policy Analyst